Anthony "Tony" Magestro--or known on the field of battle as Metzge--is an avid writer, gamer, and entrepreneur. When he's not writing, gaming, or entrepreneuring, he enjoys cooking, trippy movies, and trying to be awesome to varying degrees of success. Feel free to check out his LinkedIn page, especially if you need freelance help with content writing or digital marketing. Or just like to network, that's fine too.
I know it’s been a while since I posted last, but fret not friends. You know I wouldn’t leave you forever. Honestly, I’ve just been catching up on a ton of games now that I got a new quad core processor for my computer and with that, I can finally play some games that… well… didn’t play nicely with the old equipment. Now that I’m able to play The Witcher 3 on Ultra with no intermittent lag (despite clocking over 50 hours, it was a test of patience constantly alternating between a few minutes of stable game time, then a few minutes frozen), I went back to play The Witcher 2 so as to import my save to its successor.
When the game first came out in 2011, I only (ashamedly) got just to the end of Act I before being distracted with other things (college, fraternity life, work, Skyrim, L.A. Noire, and Total War: Shogun II). But now, resolved to save Ciri, I had to complete this first quest.
While The Witcher 2 is a pretty great game in its own right, I think that the dialogue in The Witcher 3 has a bit more depth and finesse to it. So it goes for CD Projekt Red, however, constantly honing their craft and subsequent products. After all, the original Witcher engine was the same as Neverwinter Nights, whereas The Witcher 3 uses REDengine 3 (1 and 2 were both used in The Witcher 2 and its enhanced edition, respectively). But I digress.
As the slut for good writing that I am, I figured I’d share with you all some of my favorite Witcher 2 quotes, some of which I even find relevant to today’s real world problems. But again, this is nothing new with CDPR’s critiques of human nature and geopolitics wrapped up in the fantasy realm that Geralt and Co. inhabit.
That said, here’s our Top 10 Witcher 2 quotes:
***CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS***
10. Zoltan Chivay: “Sit down, Geralt, you old goat! Drinking alone is as bad as shitting in company.”
Geralt of Rivia: “Another time, maybe. You’ve been here for a while and probably know the local customs.”
Zoltan: “I’m no researcher, but go on, ask away.”
Geralt: “Who would need a troll’s head?”
Zoltan: “Same folks who need a bear’s head to hang on the wall, show how plucky they are. A peasant with a troll’s head on his wall may raise many skirts.”
9. Geralt: “I need you to do me a favor.”
Dandelion: “Name it. For this, I’d give you my chastity. If I still had it, of course.”
Geralt: “I wouldn’t be interested.”
Dandelion: “Don’t tell me you need another poem for a noonwraith.”
Dandelion: “Please, Geralt… Don’t get me involved in another messy monster matter. I’m an artist, not…”
Geralt: “That’s precisely who I need to lure a succubus.”
Dandelion: “Are you crazy? You want to see a hoofed hag ride me to death?”
[Geralt shoots him a menacing stare]
Dandelion: “On the other hand… we all have to die of something.”
8. “When this development occurs over millennia, across multiple generations, we proudly call it natural selection, evolution. When it occurs quickly, in a single organism or a few representatives of a species, we frown on it as mutation.” – Triss Merigold, explaining biological intolerance to Geralt, mostly about the kayran, but also why people treat witchers with such disdain
7. “Could a soldier dream of better than defeating a monarch? Or maybe you’re afraid to fight? Maybe we should fly a white flag? It’s so simple: Henselt will quickly set up his order here. Inns will be marked ‘humans only.’ Dwarves will choke in the mines. Elves will perish, hunted in the forests. Lords will slaughter peasants because they didn’t bow low enough. Is that the land you want to leave to your children?” – Saskia, addressing her troops during the Kaedweni invasion
6. Vernon Roche: “You had my men killed…”
King Henselt of Kaedwen: “Of course I had them killed. What do you do with spies in Temeria, give them awards?”
Roche: “None of those hanged were part of the plot, only me.”
Henselt: “You know the saying: where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
Roche: “Your villainy knows no bounds.”
Henselt: “What do you call villainy? The fact that I made Kaedwen stronger than ever? You fool! I’m the last ruler of the North, whom Nilfgaard must respect. And it will!”
[later, Roche has his revenge by stabbing Henselt to death]
Henselt: “Uhhuhhg! A flea… has bitten a lion.”
5. Iorveth: “Vernon Roche! Special Forces Commander for the last four years. Servant of the Temerian king. Responsible for the pacification of the Mahakaman foothills. Hunter of elves, murderer of women and children. Twice decorated for valor on the field of battle…”
Roche: “Iorveth! A regular son of a whore.”
4. Dethmold: [to Geralt, lying on the floor] “Ahh… Arghhh! You’ve broken my arm! Aargh! You’ve broken my arm! Do you know its worth, you son of a bitch?”
Roche: “Now it’s worth shit, like the rest of you.”
3. Geralt: “Care to tell me what it was all about?”
Letho of Gulet: “Hm. Kill as many rulers as we could. Lay the blame on the sorceresses. Breed chaos. Prepare the North, soften it before the invasion. And you know what’s incredible? We could not have imagined more fertile soil. No matter what the war’s outcome, the Northern monarchs’ll accuse one another, pursue their god-given rights, seek vengeance and be at each other’s throats for years to come. The North resembles a whorehouse on fire, as your friend Dandelion would say.”
2. “Sooner or later, humans will kill all the Aen Seidhe. All dwarves and ghomes. Then they’ll start murdering one another. Your kind knows no other way. It’s in your genes. You keep killing each other until only one remains. The strongest among you. A thousand years from now, a dim-witted human barbarian will climb to the top of a pile of bones, sit down, and proclaim: ‘I win.'” – Iorveth
1. “Our descendants will decide who we were when they see what we’ve left behind.” – The Visionary
What are some of your favorite quotes?